P: Pingping is the hostess of this program.

J: Ni Hao. I'm Jules, correspondent of this program. In response to questions brought up by our viewers, today we are going to talk about relationships between Chinese people and foreigners.

 P: Right. To give you some idea, we've invited our colleague Luke, who's originally from England. Luke is married to a Chinese woman and they live here in Beijing and have a two year old lovely son.

 J: Yes, it's the first time 'ask Pingping and Jules' has had a guest in the studio to help answer a viewer's question, so welcome to the program, Luke.

 L: Thanks, nice to be here.

 J: One of the viewers Sherry asked: What are other popular ways in China for single people to meet their potential partner? How about in Western countries?  So Luke how did you meet your wife?

 L: Ha! Well I met my wife within one week of coming to China. That was five years ago now. She was originally introduced to me because I needed a Chinese personal tutor, and so we had a couple of lessons. But to tell the truth, I had a hard time concentrating. Shortly after that it was Valentines Day, and we started spending a lot more time together.

 J: So how do Chinese girls know if a Chinese boy is interested them, Ping Ping ?

 P: To me, if a Chinese boy asked a question like "would you like to have dinner with me tonight?", or "shall we go see a movie together?" That's a signal that he is interested in you. If you like him, you can accept the offer. Otherwise you can give him a polite reason of refusal.

 J: Well, that seems similar to how things happen in the West too. Luke, can you think of any other differences in the way people meet their potential love interest in China, in contrast to the West?

 L: Yes, parents in China are much more active in helping match their sons or daughters with others. In fact I've heard there are even parks where parents meet to exchange information and photographs with other parents in the hope of finding a perfect match. This would rarely happen in England, where I'm from. I guess the sons and daughters would think their parents were interfering. How about in Australia?

 J: No, I've never heard of that happening. I think both the parents and their sons and daughters would be a bit shy about it. How about you Pingping, did you meet your husband with the help of somebody else? 

 P: That's true. One of my fellow colleagues introduced him to me.

 L: Well, that's very interesting. Are there any other differences between the way lovers behave in public in China.

 P: Yes, public displays of affection are not as common as they might be in your country and it's also interesting to mention that in China, the boy often helps carry the lady's hand bag for her. In the West it's unusual for the gentlemen to do that, isn't it?

 J: Yes, in Australia the man might hold the bag for his girlfriend or wife while she puts her coat on but it would be unlikely that he would carry the bag while were walking along. I think Australian men would consider themselves less manly if they did this and be too concerned about what negative opinions other men would have about it. How about you Luke, do you carry your wife's handbag for her? 

 L: I have done, but you're right Jules, it does make you feel a bit odd. For us personally, we take bags like rucksacks and I always carry them. In British culture we would carry them if there was a problem, but typically both partners would expect the wife to carry her own normally. It's not an issue of gender; just making a mature decision to look after your own stuff. If you can't carry it, don't bring it.

 P: Another listener Bruce wrote in and said: I have a difficult question for you.

I have a Chinese girlfriend who I am deeply in love with. She expects me to drive the relationship and she will follow.  Being an Australian I have the view that we should be equals in expressing our hearts and desires.

 J: Yes, in Australia it may well be the woman who 'wears the pants' in the family. That is the one is takes control of many situations and makes many of the decisions.

 P: How about you Luke? Have you found any major differences between dating a Chinese girl and a western girl?

 L: It depends on who you date, but if I talked generally, I would say Chinese girls like the man to take the lead a little more. While it's not true for everyone, it usually pays to take the initiative as a man in China, and that includes romance. Having said that, my wife's major concern when we start dating was to make sure she didn't give up her independence completely. In our daily family life she handles all the money stuff, and is in charge of daily affairs. It's great because I'm terrible at remembering those things.

 J. Today we talked about relationships between foreigners and Chinese people. And if you'd like to know more about Chinese culture or you have any comments please contact us at crienglish.com or send an email to